mistaken-identity.

It’s the start, of something new.

Skye. — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 06:15:42 +0000

Well, my unspoken vow seemed to fail. I told myself I’d stay away from boys for a while, get back on track as far as my girls are concerned. I told myself no more crushes, no more heartache, just friendship, and fun. I lied. I’ve broken the vow. I’m beginning to fall again. I can tell, you know how you can just feel it, you know you’re going to think about that one person all the time, and you secretly know that you like them. Well that’s where I am, not at the stage of telling people I know yet, but certainly at the stage of starting something. Sigh, I wish this feeling would disappear. I guess in a way a distraction would be nice right now, I just don’t know if I’m ready for this kind of distraction…

Well aside from that, I’ve really been doing nothing, my weekend was quite blank, I worked a lot. A lot a lot. Other than work, I did nothing. Oh the exciting life I lead. It’s just amazing isn’t it. Today I went back for week two of school. I’ve only got fourteen school days left until my exams, then after that I have a two-week mini break, an excursion to Sydney and then my formal and graduation. Not a lot left really. It’s quite exciting, I’m almost a senior.

I should probably go be nerdy and study, or I’ll go watch One Tree Hill… More likely the second one. That’s it for now..

I remember it, I do. It’s there. I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. & I look at you and I’m home.. Please, I don’t want that to go away. I don’t want to forget.

- Finding Nemo.

Skye.xo`

So much for my Happy Ending..

Skye. — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 10:47:20 +0000

Well, I realised that writing every day would be kind of hard. So I thought I’d wait till something exciting happened… So I waited, and waited, and after like 4 days, nothing had happened. So I decided I’d just randomly write. I’m trying to settle back into a school routine, but it’s not easy. I’m quite a sleep in freak. I love my sleep, but I can’t get to sleep of a night. It’s so annoying. Anyway, I began waking at 6.45, which turned into 7, which turned into 7.10 which is now 7.20. Oops. But I get ready pretty quick so it’s okay. Everything and everyone is so different now, it’s like over the two weeks the planets shifted and affected everyone but me. Or maybe it only was me that got hit? I don’t know.

I’ve never been a fan of change, I’m a set in my own ways kind of person and when things shift, I don’t tend to know how to react. The next few weeks are quite hectic, with exams going on, I don’t know how often I’ll write, but I will write when I can. After exams it’ll be a more daily thing. However I have to go and practice my drama and music performances so I don’t really want to drag this on..

You got a dream, you gotta protect it. If you want something, you gotta go get it.

- The Pursuit Of Happiness.

Skye.xo`

She cried so long her tears ran dry.

Skye. — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 12:07:31 +0000

I think, there’s something, somewhere out there, that is one hundred percent against me. In all honesty, I haven’t had a good day in so long, I’ve faked it don’t get me wrong, but I have not had an actual good day, a positive upbeat day, in months at least. I barely remember the feeling of happiness. Everytime I think I’m approaching it, something knocks me back down. Now I know, I’m not the only one going through this kind of mood, but no-one knows whats going on. Not a single person out there can relate one hundred percent to what I’m going through right now. I feel so alienated.

So, as bad days go, this one went from bad to worse. I was actually glad when I woke up this morning. I wanted to go back to school.. But no, as usual it was not at all what I was expecting. Everyone seemed against me, so yeh, I’ve already blogged about that today (see “This is real, This is me” for more detail) but then, I get home thinking that it can’t possibly get any worse. I go outside and bang, it starts raining on me! So I come back inside, and sit in my room alone. No-one made any effort to talk to me or anything, so I didn’t bother. Fast forward to about an hour ago, and suddenly mothers boyfriend ‘Z’ is going psycho. He starts yelling and then I hear papers being thrown, then I hear the remote. My mum kept going and he was like JUST SHUT UP. So I screamed. Then he walked out of their room and he’s now sleeping on the couch. It’s freakishly silent in my house. Deadly silent. I’m not game enough to leave the room even though I really need to pee.

I’m not going all suicidal or anything, but honestly, I’ve run out of crying. I’ve no tears left. I just don’t know how much longer I can handle this. It’s pushing me too far. I hate it. I hate the feeling. I hate my world…

Somewhere down this road I know someone’s waiting. Years of dreams just can’t be wrong.

- Anastasia.

Skye.xo`

Pictures of me.

Skye. — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 08:00:16 +0000

The pictures, have been added.

See them here. Or by clicking on the Self-Photography link in the menu..

Beauty is not in the face; Beauty is a light in the heart.

-Kahlil Gibran.

Skye.xo`

This Is Real. This Is Me..

Skye. — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 06:07:05 +0000

I didn’t really get a chance to blog yesterday. I had my friend over, and then I worked, and I went driving. So I’ll just write now, and then maybe later. Depending on what happens.. Anyway, yesterday was pretty dull, work was fun with the girls and I didn’t kill anyone when I drove. Lol. Today however was a different story..

I went back to school after the two-week holidays today. I was pretty excited to go back, I missed everyone immensely. So I go back really gladly, unfortunately apparently not everyone missed me! I got there and no-one really acknowledged me. The aforementioned “best friend” ignored me completely. I thought he’d be a little more mature, apparently not! So that’s the beginning of the crapness. Some people were alright, English was great partly. The people I sit with were nice but the presence of aforementioned “best friend” made me kinda angry. There was a bad vibe in the air. So then I had Drama, “best friend” was there too! That made drama crappy. But adding to that my so-called-friend is really angry at me, she tried to join me downtown when I was with other people, then got angry when I told her it was a work-only kind of thing. Now she hates me. She was in drama too, so there was a lot of Skye-hating tension going on!

The rest of the day was the same. Craptastic. It was not something I’d want to relive. I’m actually feeling kind of miserable right now thinking about it. Now that I’ve got all that out of my system I’ve discovered how much I love taking pictures. At the moment I’ve really only had me to be the model, which I also love. So I’m going to add a page to the site, filled with pictures of me. Haha. Look forward to that!

I’m really running out of things to say right now. I think I’ll add some photos now. Also, don’t forget to check out my awesome affiliates. Don’t forget to apply if you want to be linked there! Onto todays quote…

I think all of us want to feel something that we’ve forgotten, or turned our backs on, because maybe we didn’t realise how much we were leaving behind, we need to remember what used to be good. If we don’t, we won’t recognise it even if it hits us between the eyes.

- Suddenly 30.

Skye.xo`

Stay quiet, Stay near.

Skye. — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 06:54:46 +0000

Okay, lastnights post was quite hurried. It wasn’t just the friend thing, it was everything. It was the fact that everything is changing. The fact that nothing is how I remember it. Among friendship fights and stupidity. I just haven’t had a good past few months really. I had my cry, and I’m feeling much better. Thanks heaps for all the comments. You guys helped, a lot.

So I worked today, got my cafe uniform. I’m thinking of adding a photo gallery to the site. It’ll probably take a while, but it’ll happen. Also I’m pretty sure I’ll hold on the content for a while. Until after exams, which begin in four weeks. I’m pretty sure I’m going to fail!

Well that’s all for now. I’ll update if anything interesting happens. Until then remember…

Sometimes, the people you love the most.. Are the ones that hurt you the most..

- Full House.

Skye..xo

My heart is Damaged..

Skye. — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 09:35:56 +0000

It’s official. It’s over. I ruined everything.. Too depressed to write right now. I’m thinking a long hot shower, a lot of chocolate and a good cry is in order. I hate life.

Scissors have never been so tempting before.

- Unknown.

Remember Us and All we Used to Be…

Skye. — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:07:45 +0000

Here I go again. I’d apologize a million times over but that doesn’t change the fact that I didn’t write for over a month. Regardless, I just read over everything I’ve written, copied and pasted a few things to my friend who told me I can write. So I’m definitely regretting ever stopping. However, this is it. The re-birth of a blog. Mind you in the time I stopped writing I’ve changed. Matured, become a new person. I’ve gone from over the moon happiness to a current state of not caring. It’s going to be a lot to take in, and naturally I wont right about everything but I’ll state a few important things.

Okay, the bestfriend I was talking about months ago. Well we were still quite close. I’m really not sure about right now, but anyway. I finally admitted that I liked him, only however after he admitted to liking me. We talked 24/7 for about two or three weeks, before everything went downhill. I’m not sure exactly when we hit rock bottom… We spent a day together sometime at the end of September. From then on, the lines of communication dropped. I sort of stopped caring. But he persisted. At that moment I realised, I didn’t like him, it was more the idea of him that I liked. So then I noticed he’d kind of let up on the constant communication. And of course, as karma goes, I began to like him. Of course, he’d stopped liking me, I think. So anyway, I tried to get back to normal, it failed. Now it’s been days, the longest we’ve ever gone without speaking, we kind of spoke Wednesday, but it was like talking to an alien. It wasn’t us. I miss us. I don’t know if there will ever be an us again. I sincerely hope so. Which brings me to my first piece of advice, Think before you act. Don’t give up on a good thing, you never know how bad it’ll be when it’s gone. You don’t know how much it’ll hurt when you realise, you messed up, and that it’s your fault… It’s a horrible pain. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone. I’ve pretty much been dying to just crawl under the covers and cry. I tried. But I’ve got nothing. No tears left in me. I don’t understand..

Well, physically writing this out has finally done it. It’s brought on the tears. I’m thinking I’ll go release my boxed up emotion. I don’t know when I’ll stop this feeling. But I do know I’m going to write tomorrow. As usual a quote. This is kind of a hypocritical quote given the situation I’m in. But I can’t not put it up because it’s advice I wish I’d followed…

Don’t ever cry over someone who wont cry over you.

- The Hills.

Be careful what you wish for.

Skye. — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 11:22:36 +0000

Hmm, what to say, where to begin. I’m not sure what’s been going through my mind lately. I just want to smile. Just want to feel like me again, and be genuinely happy. However who knows how long I’ll be waiting for that. So Skye’s still faking it day by day. But, newsflash, there’s recently someone who has been making me smile, really really big. The butterflies in your tummy, can’t stop thinking about them smile. It’s amazing to actually feel that way. But our closeness lasted about a week and we haven’t talked much this week. I’m sensing potential. But it’s best not to get ahead of myself. I’ll keep you all uptated but.

So I guess things are getting easier; my friends are quite sucky, well the female ones anyway. I’m really getting along with the boys more lately, which doesn’t bother me, because they’re not bitchy, and they have a habit of including me. Rather than the bitchy girls of my group who turn their backs and pretend I’m not there — Seriously, they did that to me today! I was sitting there with them, and all three of them looked the other way. It hurt, it honestly did. But I just pretended it didn’t and sat there quietly like a complete loner. I miss my Stacey, she went away, she’s my bestfriend at school by far.

Well I’m going from happy, to sad, and back in circles right now. So I’m going to just end this here.

The truth is, you don’t know whats going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride and nothing is guaranteed.

- Eminem.

x.Skye_

I fell right through the cracks, and now I’m trying to get back.

Skye. — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 09:28:23 +0000

Okay, day by day it’s getting easier. I would go into the story, but it’s just too much.. Basically I was threatened, my life was threatened. Now I’m under constant watch of my mother and grandmother while my mums boyfriend is in prison for defending my safety and hurting the other guy. It’s not easy when you’re afraid to go to school. Making matters worse I completely tanked my music solo today, my teacher told me I’ll have to do it again.. I then began crying at school, I couldn’t take it, it’s all so much coming down at once. I’m glad I had someone there to comfort me or I don’t know what I would have done.

Now, before I forget, please do me a big favour, you may or may not know that the WB has pushed the release date for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince back from November 08 to July 09, so if you’d just sign this petition - http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/harrypotter6 - I’d greatly appreciate it.

Right, so I’m behind in life pretty much, and I’ve no way how I’m going to get back on top. Till then, taking it one day at a time. Also, check my affies sites, unlike me they tend to update. I’ll work on this site over the next month, I promise this time.

You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become a villan.

- Batman; The Dark Knight.

x.Skye_